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Dear Jonah,
Well Tuesday (4-6-10) you lost your first tooth!!! I can't believe it. You lost it during soccer practice. Just before soccer practice I checked to see how wiggly it was. It was my daily ritual to see the progression of how loose your tooth got. At first you thought me doing this was cool but after the first week it got tiresome and you would complain of me doing it. But on that Tuesday I remember thinking, oh, it's gonna be soon. I wasn't at practice because I was doing some errands for your aunt and dad told me that you and a team member were both trying to get the ball and ya'll bumped into each other and poof out came your tooth :)! You cried for a while and because it wasn't totally ready it bled a little which probably caused the crying. During all this commotion you had spit out your tooth and even though you and dad searched the grass for it, your tooth was no where to be found! You assured me that you didn't swallow it and therefore I'm taking your word for that because if a piece of gum takes 7 years to digest, there is no telling how long a tooth takes!
We assured you that the tooth fairy would still come even without your tooth to put under the pillow and the first thing you did when you woke up was run to your room (yes during the night you had come into our room, like always to sleep with us) and check under your pillow and what did you find?? Two dollars. You were so happy. I love to look at the spot where your tooth was. Every day I make you smile at me so I can see it. You're getting to be such a big boy, growing up too fast for me. Sometimes I wish you and your sister would stay little forever...

Love you always and forever,
Mommy

Oh No...

Dear Audrina,
Well it was bound to happen. I've heard horror stories from other mothers but I never thought it would happen to me. Yesterday your dad came and woke me up with you in tow, smiling up a storm. Dad said, look what she did? In a hazy fog I said "Huh?" She CUT her hair! Oh my goodness! I could not believe it. My formally no banged daughter now had bangs, and not only had you cut your hair to make bangs, but you did it perfectly straight!! I said "No, you had to have cut her hair it's too straight" and your dad so no I didn't, and you Audrina said "No mommy, I CUT MY HAIR!" and you burst in to a fit of laughter. I could not believe it. Apparently your dad and Jonah were watching Ice Age in the living room and you were in your room on the bunk beds and proceeded to chop your hair off! Then after you attacked your hair, you did a couple of your baby dolls' hair as well. It was your brother that noticed it first. Jonah told me he was scared cause you looked different. Jonah kept saying, "Dad, that's not my sister, something is wrong with Audrina." After about 5 minutes of persuasion and instance, your dad finally realized what you had done! I am still the next day in shock! You could have done much worse, I think that is the most scary part. You could have completely chopped your hair short and it could have been all different links! The what if, terrifies me! I still am a sad though, I LOVED the fact that you didn't have bangs. Most little girls your age have bangs and I always thought that no bangs were so much better. But, you have done the damage already and don't worry my little princess, you are still gorgeous as ever. It's only hair, and after a few months of growing your bangs out I can start pinning them back again. But for now, I HIDE every pair of scissors in the house...

Love you always and forever,
Mommy

Sisters and Brothers

Dear Jonah and Audrina,
Ya'll continue to amaze me with ya'lls sense of love for each other. At this point in ya'lls life, I believe Audrina is more in love with her brother then anyone else in the world. The first thing you ask for is your "Bubba". You refuse to go anywhere without him and if he's doing something, you can bet your bottom dollar that Audrina is right there along side him trying her hardest to do the same thing. It's so great to watch ya'll play together. I've never had a brother so I don't know the special bond that brothers and sisters have with one another but at this rate I think ya'll will be the best of friends. Last Friday we went out to eat at a restaurant with a playground outside and the weather was so nice. Your dad and I just watched ya'll play together for a long time. Jonah you try to impress your sister with your athletic abilities. You say "Watch this Audrina" and you jump from the top steps or do some other dare devil stunt,that makes my heart skip a beat each time, and Audrina watches you in awe. The love in her eyes evident. I caught Audrina climbing some weird circle ladder and when I looked she was at the very top just standing there. Not scared or crying. Jonah you were right underneath her pushing her feet up, helping her up. She was higher than any two year old should EVER be so I ran and helped her down and said "Jonah, I told you not to let your sister climb up these ladders, she's too little and could fall and hurt herself!" Jonah turned and looked at me and said "But mom I was right there helping her, I would have caught her..." My heart melted. Remember that sentence my little boy. Be there for your sister always, be her best friend and watch out for her.

Love always and forever,

Mommy

First day of Kindergarten

Dear Jonah,
Today was your very first day of kindergarten. Most mom's cry on their child's first day of kindergarten, but how could I cry when you were so excited to start school as a big boy. I came home from work and you were so excited to show me how you were dressed in your uniform. You wouldn't let your sister touch you because you were afraid she would get you dirty :). I put your tie on and you are the most handsomest little boy I have ever seen (and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom either). You wipe the lint off your shorts and I can see the excitement in your face for the first day...You tell me you can't wait to tell your grandma's and grandpa about your first day of kindergarten. You tell Audrina that you are a big boy in big boy school and that is why you have to wear a tie and uniform to school. She wants to wear your tie too. When we get to your school and your classroom you are ready to run right in. Hold on my baby, don't go yet, just one more kiss and hug. I wonder as I right this how you are doing?...Are you thinking of me, do you miss me or are you having to much fun to give me a second thought...

Love you always and forever,
Mommy

My big girl

Dear Audrina,

It amazes me how fast you are growing up. I can't believe that you are two years old and such a girl. You're latest crazes are the nail polishes and the sunglasses. No matter where you go whether in the car or in the house you have a pair of sunglasses on or hooked to your shirt. You bring me the nail polish so I can paint your toes and I had never before painted your fingernails before but a few weeks back you INSISTED! :) And you said "mom I be careful, I no touch" and you walked for hours picking up your stuff with your palms so you wouldn't blotch the nail polish. I even bought little nail stickers so that on your toes right now you spot little flowers with a jeweled center! You walked right over to daddy and said, "isn't it pretty?" Necklaces drape your neck and not just one, no no, but three or four. The more the merrier right. Your such a big girl. I love you and your brother so much that it hurts sometimes. It's so hard to explain. When you look at something and you're heart is filled with such love that you feel like your heart is gonna burst. You'll understand someday my beautiful girl when you have babies of your own. I can see already that you will be a great mommy!! You have to sleep with at least two babies and you wrap you're arms over them and kiss them good night. During the day when you play with them I sometimes hear you yell at them. "Don't be bad, do you want to go to time out?" I walk in the room and you say, "sshhh mommy, she is in time out!" You talk so well, I can understand you clear as day. I can't wait to see the woman you turn out to be...

Love you always and forever,

Mommy

Adjusting to RN life

Dear Jonah and Audrina,
Well I never realized how hard it would be working as a nurse. I am working in the NNICU and although I only work three days a week, they are 12 1/2 hour shifts at night. When I worked at night before in the lab it was late, 10:00-6:30. Most of the time ya'll were already in bed or even asleep. So ya'll never noticed I was gone. Only on the weekends when I had to sleep during the day while ya'll were at school. Anyway, with my new schedule I have to leave the house by 5:40 in order to get to the hospital and go to my locker and get ready and be at the baby's bedside at 6:30 PM. Which means I can no longer pick you up from school or give ya'll a bath or tuck you in to bed on the nights that I have to work. I really miss that. It's true that you take the small things for granted and you don't really appreciate them until you stop doing them. It's all been so emotional lately. The stress and the change, my hormones, who knows but sometimes I drive to work almost in tears because I won't get to see your happy faces when I pick you up from school. I won't get to see ya'll splash in the tub and get on to ya'll for splashing water all over the bathroom. I know it's silly and ridiculous but it does hurt. I know ya'll are thinking, well mom why don't you just pick us up early and then leave the same time for work? This would be plausible if it wasn't so hard on YA'LL when I leave as well (which may be part of my heartache as well). It's easier for your dad to pick ya'll up and never to have seen me then for me to watch ya'll for an hour or two and then have to leave. Ya'll scream and cry for me not to leave. Audrina grabs on for dear life on my leg and with tears streaming down your face you yell "Don't LEAVE me mommy!!" I can hear you crying all the way down the stairs outside. How can your heart not break with those words?? I'm sure it will get better. We all must adapt. I just hope it gets easier...

Love you always and forever,

Mommy

Happy Belated Birthday!!

Audrina the day she was born (below)

Jonah at 2 above and Audrina at 2 below

Dear Jonah and Audrina,

Happy Belated Birthday's babies!! Your birthdays' have been over a little over a week now but because I just started my job in the NNICU last week it has been so hectic and I have had no time to write until now. But I can not believe that ya'll are now 5 and 2!!! It is so crazy and exciting. I look at ya'll everyday and I am like, WOW I can NOT believe that I have two beautiful kids. Ya'll are amazing and crazy and it's been such a crazy journey to get where we are now. For ya'lls real birthday, Daddy had to take ya'll to school because it was my second day of orientation and even though I wished I could keep ya'll from school and just have fun with ya'll all day, I couldn't. But we loaded ya'll up with cupcakes to take to school (Jonah you had cupcakes with tractors on them and Audrina had cupcakes in the shape of flowers). That evening we invited both sets of grandma's and your aunts and uncle to come to have a bar b q with us at the swimming pool. Jonah you told me about a week before your birthday "Mom, since it's my birthday coming up, that means I can do what ever I want." OK I said, What do you want? "I want to go swimming and have an ice cream cake, with gummy bears!!!" "It's a deal I told him." Easy enough, I could do that, so I raced home from work and picked up ya'lls ice cream cake WITH gummy bears and we went to the pool for bar b q!!! Swimming was so much fun and ya'll had a great time! It was a wonderful birthday :).

Then came party number THREE, ya'lls birthday party with your friends from school on the Saturday after your birthday. We had it at Going Bonkers which is a huge play ground inside with games, pizza, TWO more cakes (yes, that's five in all) and ice cream!!! It was lots of fun. With friends and family we had a blast and it's the best thing in the world to have family and friends with you to celebrate the BEST day in the whole world, when BOTH my babies were born!!! It was a great birthday week and still a week after ya'll are opening up and playing with the toys that you got from your birthday! Ya'll loved EVERYTHING and have played with EVERYTHING and it was such a wonderful day. I love ya'll so much and celebrating the birth of my children is probably the one day of the year that I look forward to the most. Each June 16th, brings back a flood of memories that almost brings me to tears. I think about each of ya'lls, pregnancy and birth. To this day, I remember what it was like to have ya'll kick and move around me, every time I look at a box of pasta I think of the meal I was eating when I started having contractions with Audrina, I remember what it was like to be scared and shaking as they put me on the surgical table for my Cesarean section for Jonah. I remember the first time I saw each of ya'll and the immense and overwhelming love I felt instantly, the bond I felt in nursing ya'll for the first time and how I NEVER felt awkward when everyone watched because I know it is best for your health. I may have forgotten the pain of childbirth, I think God set it up that way because if a woman remembers she wouldn't have another, but the joy of ya'lls birth I will never forget!


Love always and forever,

Mommy