Big girl

Dear Audrina,
You are getting so big now. Everyday you learn something new or surprise me with actually telling me what you want. You talk so much now and your new favorite thing is to sing. With you being 18 months this Christmas you seemed to love Christmas so much. Grandma would take you and Jonah to visit Santas every weekend and I think with this you have come to LOVE Santa. Don't get me wrong, you still refuse to sit on his lap or come within a few feet from him but anything with Santa's picture on it you get too excited. "Santa, Santa!" you scream. "bye, bye Santa" You sleep with your little stuffed Santa and you sing Christmas carols. The sound of your precious voice as you sing is the most adorable thing to hear. No matter what I am doing at the time, I drop everything to hear you sing. It just amazes me that at 18 months you have learned to sing! "Santa, all the way.." you sing the same verse over and over. It doesn't matter that you have combined two different Christmas songs, you bop your head to your own beat and sing with all your heart "Santa, all the way, Santa all the way." The most adorable thing ever. I can't wait to see how much you love Christmas next year. I'm sure by then taking pictures with Santa will be a breeze. At 18 months your brother did the exact same thing and refused a picture with Santa. I have pictures every year with Santa except at the 18 month mark for both you and your brother.

I miss when you were a little baby. You are so fun at the age you are now, but seeing as how you are my last baby I get a little nostalgic when I think of you as a baby. There is nothing more amazing in this world to me then having a baby. It truly is a miracle every time a baby is born and every baby is a gift from God. How some people don't believe in God I will never understand. How else do you explain life being created? To feel that baby move inside your belly is truly wondrous. I remember the first time I felt you move inside my belly. A small butterfly flutter while I was at work. There is no other way to describe it other then breathtaking. I often wonder if I could pick which sex I could have been would I have picked a man? It seems like there are so many pitfalls to being a woman: menstruating, jealousy, bickering, the vision of having to look like a stick figure model, the list goes on and on. But honestly all I have to do is look at you and your brother and would never change being a woman...being a mother. Eve ate the apple from the garden of evil and for this God said, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children...(Genesis 3:16)" but is it really punishment?...I don't think so. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Love always and forever,
Mommy

Merry Christmas 2008

Dear Jonah and Audrina,

Merry Christmas my sweet babies! Today was a wonderful day and yet an exhausting one. Jonah, you were late to go to sleep and the first one up this morning. You were sooo excited that Santa had come. You couldn't wait to open all the presents. Audrina, you are still to young to fully comprehend Christmas but you absolutely loved ripping the paper off the presents. Ya'll got everything that ya'll wanted and more. Every single present Jonah unwrapped he would say, "I bet this is my football helmet!" no matter how big or small the package. Wouldn't you know that the very LAST present that you opened was that helmet. You were too cute in it too. It came with a whole football outfit, you looked like a mini Dallas Cowboy and you hardly took the helmet off all day. Audrina got a rocking horse pony and you had so much fun on that and of course so many babies that you couldn't hold them all in your arms, my little mommy in training. It was all so wonderful. Yet it seems like it went by so fast. Weeks and weeks went in to buying all these presents and it was all over in a blink of an eye. Ya'll grow up so fast and before I know it you won't believe in Santa anymore and instead of dolls and trucks ya'll will want make-up and money. So I cherish these precious moments that I have with ya'll when ya'll are little. When I can still pick ya'll up and squeeze you. I know it will go by too fast. That is why I kiss ya'll as often as I can and tell ya'll I love you as much as I can. Jonah our favorite thing is telling each other how much we love each other. "Jonah, I love you all the way to the moon." "Mommy, I love you all the way to heaven." "Jonah, I love you all the way to heaven and back!"



Love always and forever,

Mommy

To be or not to be...

Dear Jonah and Audrina,
Well I have to tell ya'll that about a couple of months ago your father decided to change career fields. He doesn't want to be a nurse. He's known it for quite a while but I think because I have been pushing and pushing him to finish that he's tried to continue, but unfortunately he was pushed over the edge. He will start working on his degree this upcoming semester to become a teacher. This last semester at school we went to a place for misbehaved teenagers. Kids who for some reason or another were not only a danger to themselves but to other people. We were able to sit down and talk to them and I think this helped solidify your father's plans of becoming a teacher. He loved being able to sit down and talk with the teens. He wanted to make a difference in their lives and become a positive influence for them to look up too. It affected him more than I realized and he made a decision to switch degrees. Was I upset? Yes. Do I support him? Yes. I was upset more with myself then anything. He has been telling me he wasn't happy with what he was doing for a long time, I just didn't want to hear it. But I support him whole heartily. Remember my babies that I will support ya'll in what ever career fields ya'll decide. It's so important to be happy with what you do in life. Life is too short to be stuck in a place you hate. It may mean we have to make a few sacrifices but remember that your dad and I are trying our hardest to give ya'll the BEST life we can. An apartment as opposed to a house, a used car as opposed to a new car. It won't always be this way but just for a little bit longer. Long enough for your dad to finish school, long enough for us to pay off all these student loans and credit cards. We try so hard to give ya'll a wonderful life and we hope that ya'll will see that. Your too young to understand that now but maybe in the future you will understand the sacrifices we make are because we love ya'll so much!

Love always and forever,
Mommy

Gaylord Ice!

Dear Jonah and Audrina,
Well I haven't written in a while but I promise ya'll I will keep up with it more! We are out of school for the winter break (almost, one more test to go) and I will have my hands free. Well not really free considering I plan to fill my time with ya'll. I want to do lots of fun stuff together...
Recently we went to a fabulous place at the Gaylord Hotel, an exhibit called Ice. EVERYTHING there was made of ice. The above pictures are all ice. They gave us special jackets to wear since it was 9 degree inside to keep everything from melting but it was all so beautiful. I can't believe all the stuff they can sculpt out of ice. My favorite was the candy house and I think Jonah you loved the slide. You were so cute as you slide down the giant ice slide with a huge smile on your face. Audrina I think was more bothered by the TONS of clothes and jackets you had on. They only had one size in the kids jackets and you were pretty much fussy in the huge jacket, but I think you liked looking at some of the sculptures too.
Doing stuff like that as a family is so much fun. I love all being together and I can't wait until our next "adventure"!

Love always and forever,
Mommy