Big girl

Dear Audrina,
You are getting so big now. Everyday you learn something new or surprise me with actually telling me what you want. You talk so much now and your new favorite thing is to sing. With you being 18 months this Christmas you seemed to love Christmas so much. Grandma would take you and Jonah to visit Santas every weekend and I think with this you have come to LOVE Santa. Don't get me wrong, you still refuse to sit on his lap or come within a few feet from him but anything with Santa's picture on it you get too excited. "Santa, Santa!" you scream. "bye, bye Santa" You sleep with your little stuffed Santa and you sing Christmas carols. The sound of your precious voice as you sing is the most adorable thing to hear. No matter what I am doing at the time, I drop everything to hear you sing. It just amazes me that at 18 months you have learned to sing! "Santa, all the way.." you sing the same verse over and over. It doesn't matter that you have combined two different Christmas songs, you bop your head to your own beat and sing with all your heart "Santa, all the way, Santa all the way." The most adorable thing ever. I can't wait to see how much you love Christmas next year. I'm sure by then taking pictures with Santa will be a breeze. At 18 months your brother did the exact same thing and refused a picture with Santa. I have pictures every year with Santa except at the 18 month mark for both you and your brother.

I miss when you were a little baby. You are so fun at the age you are now, but seeing as how you are my last baby I get a little nostalgic when I think of you as a baby. There is nothing more amazing in this world to me then having a baby. It truly is a miracle every time a baby is born and every baby is a gift from God. How some people don't believe in God I will never understand. How else do you explain life being created? To feel that baby move inside your belly is truly wondrous. I remember the first time I felt you move inside my belly. A small butterfly flutter while I was at work. There is no other way to describe it other then breathtaking. I often wonder if I could pick which sex I could have been would I have picked a man? It seems like there are so many pitfalls to being a woman: menstruating, jealousy, bickering, the vision of having to look like a stick figure model, the list goes on and on. But honestly all I have to do is look at you and your brother and would never change being a woman...being a mother. Eve ate the apple from the garden of evil and for this God said, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children...(Genesis 3:16)" but is it really punishment?...I don't think so. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Love always and forever,
Mommy