School days

Dear Jonah and Audrina,
Hello sweet babies. Sorry it has been such a long time but I have been so busy with school. I don't know if ya'll fully comprehend your dad and I going to school but it has been so hard on us. We spend ALL day in school and then go pick ya'll up in the the early evening and it's so hard to actually spend fun time together. It's so hard to tell you "sorry, mommy can't play right now because I have to study." It hurts my heart to see your little face fall. I just want ya'll to know that your dad and I study so hard to give ya'll a better life. We want the best for ya'll and unfortunately that means that we have to sacrifice some things NOW so that we can have a better future. I promise that in another year I won't ever have to say "I have to study". Instead I'll play with ya'll till ya'll tell me that's enough. I won't ever have to lay my notes out while you practice soccer or lay down to sleep. All you want is my precious attention and I feel like I'm being stretched both ways. It'll get better babies I promise. Hopefully ya'll are young enough right now so that all this won't even be a memory. But then again I have to wonder? I know everything I do now reflects on who you become in the future. Will you resent me for not wanting to play with you? Will you see this as neglect when you become an adult. Some would say in Freudian terms that you will carry this burden for the rest of your life...I hope not.

Love always and forever,
Mommy